The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
