Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I need a burrito and a hug.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
All I want is dick and wine.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
