She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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