I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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