My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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