Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
