I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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