You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
vagina is talking i cant
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
