I hate your face
I wanna bring you to show and tell
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
operation harelip BJ is a go
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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