someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
