It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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