even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
