How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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