yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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