so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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