we're blogging at a bar
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
My pussy is not your playground.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
