I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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