I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
