i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
