I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we made out on top of his cat.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize