People with herpes should wear stickers.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize