dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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