I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
