covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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