Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
