so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
