tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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