you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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