Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
