Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
