ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Dicks are not precious.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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