How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
