I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
