It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
