I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
