I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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