How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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