is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize