I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
