I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
