How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
