margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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