If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
