discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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