question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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