there was a trapeze. enough said
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
