Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
