careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
