so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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