there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
