In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
i've created a new STD.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
