does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
