3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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