i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
