I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
