Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
