Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
