Bisexual people are plain selfish.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
