There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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