Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
