I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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