Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
