I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize