So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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